How to be Alone by Tanya Davis
If you are at first lonely, be patient.If you’ve not been alone much, or if when you were, you weren’t okay with it, then just wait. You’ll find it’s fine to be alone once you’re embracing it.
We can start with the acceptable places, the bathroom, the coffee shop, the library, where you can stall and read the paper, where you can get your caffeine fix and sit and stay there. Where you can browse the stacks and smell the books; you’re not supposed to talk much anyway so it’s safe there. There is also the gym, if you’re shy, you can hang out with yourself and mirrors, you can put headphones in.
Then there’s public transportation, because we all gotta go places. And there’s prayer and mediation, no one will think less if your hanging with your breath seeking peace and salvation. Start simple. Things you may have previously avoided based on your avoid being alone principles.
The lunch counter, where you will be surrounded by “chow downers”, employees who only have an hour and their spouses work across town, and they, like you, will be alone. Resist the urge to hang out with your cell phone.
When you are comfortable with “eat lunch and run”, take yourself out for dinner; a restaurant with linen and Silverware. You’re no less an intriguing a person when you are eating solo desert and cleaning the whip cream from the dish with your finger. In fact, some people at full tables will wish they were where you were.
Go to the movies. Where it’s dark and soothing, alone in your seat amidst a fleeting community.
And then take yourself out dancing, to a club where no one knows you, stand on the outside of the floor until the lights convince you more and more and the music shows you. Dance like no one’s watching because they’re probably not. And if they are, assume it is with best human intentions. The way bodies move genuinely to beats, is after-all, gorgeous and affecting. Dance until you’re sweating. And beads of perspiration remind you of life’s best things. Down your back, like a book of blessings.
Go to the woods alone, and the trees and squirrels will watch for you. Go to an unfamiliar city, roam the streets, they are always statues to talk to, and benches made for sitting gives strangers a shared existence if only for a minute, and these moments can be so uplifting and the conversation you get in by sitting alone on benches, might of never happened had you not been there by yourself
Society is afraid of alone though. Like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements. Like people must have problems if after awhile nobody is dating them. But lonely is a freedom that breathes easy and weightless, and lonely is healing if you make it. You can stand swathed by groups and mobs or hands with your partner, look both further and farther in the endless quest for company.
But no one is in your head. And by the time you translate your thoughts an essence of them maybe lost or perhaps it is just kept. Perhaps in the interest of loving oneself, perhaps all those “sappy slogans” from pre-school over to high school groaning, we’re tokens for holding the lonely at bay.
Cause if you’re happy in your head, then solitude is blessed, and alone is okay.
It’s okay if no one believes like you, all experiences unique, no one has the same synapses, can’t think like you, for this be relived, keeps things interesting, life’s magic things in reach, and it doesn’t mean you aren’t connected, and the community is not present, just take the perspective you get from being one person in one head and feel the effects of it.
wearing: Lace Top-TOPSHOP, Full Length Pants-Vintage, Clutch-ALDO, Heels-L.A.M.B
Take silence and respect it. If you have an art that needs a practice, stop neglecting it, if your family doesn’t get you or a religious sect is not meant for you, don’t obsess about it.
You could be in an instant surrounded if you need it.
If your heart is bleeding, make the best of it.
There is heat in freezing, be a testament.
Have a BEAUTIFUL day everyone!
Love,
~Opal~
Have a BEAUTIFUL day everyone!
Love,
~Opal~
24 Comments
You look very, very beautiful! *_*
I love this top with pants, it’s so chic! <3 🙂
beautiful as always! 🙂
Looking good girl…love the white pants!
http://www.nanciemwai.com
as always – you look amazing !
You always look great but what you wrote about being alone was so amazing I didn’t notice the pictures. I’ll have to check later but I just wanted to thank you for that.
You look very pretty. Love the outfit
xo
Dawn
http://sassybagblogettes.blogspot.com
Thank you for writing this. I really needed to read something positive about being alone. I was feeling incredibly depressed and tired of feeling that way and after reading your post, I feel inspired and uplifted. Thank you so much!
You elude GRACE… Love your blog
Gorgeous outfit and insightful post! Thank You!
http://www.localcelebz.blogspot.com
so elegant, i love the pants and the shoes, xoxo!
you have a KILLER shape! trousers look sooooo good on you.
I’m in love with this whole ensemble! nice styling-
http://www.roseofstyle.com/
This is a beautiful outfit. The top is so gorge and has a classic element. You have an amazing gift at styling.
weststreetglamor.blogspot.com
You look very elegant. I love your shoes.
http://swiat-ami.blogspot.com/
so i’m totally in love with your white pants. i think the whole no white after labor day rule is so over rated…you look so amazing
Come Visit
KaitGirl.blogspot.com
xo kait
I love love love your outfit, those white high waist pants and the heels are to kill for, you look amazing honey <3
Lovely. Nothing like comfortable solitude.
amazing look
gorgeous pieces!!
YOUR STYLE IS HOT! I AM FOLLOWING!
~CRYSTAL
http://www.churchgirlchic.blogspot.com
This is beautiful!
Love,
http://www.chicksinfeathers.co.cc
We love your fashion sense! We’ve put you in our blogroll because we always enjoy your posts! Hope you check us out sometime!
-Kathryn & Rita
you look verry beautiful !
charmelneverdies.blogspot.com
just discovered your blog and I must say your style is amazing..
am new at the blogging world so when you have time at all, visit my blog at http://www.thevictorian-era.blogspot.com any comments at all is welcomed. Thanks
Love the white pants! They look amazing on you! xo http://www.casualglamorous.com